Posts (page 2)

So, today was actually a good day.  I didn't really feel as depressed as I have been feeling lately.  I think I can trace my depression (such as it is...it's not like clinical depression...more like a general sadness/boredom) to when I moved out on my own. I've always had people living around me.  And now, I'm out on my own and it's not as fun as I thought it would be.  I thought about getting a dog because well...that'd be something to talk to instead of the furniture.  I've tried talking to people on the phone, but it's different in person.  I thought about getting a roommate (which would help financially as well), but it's just not do-able in my tiny apartment unless they had absolutely no furniture, clothes or personal belongings and frankly, anybody fitting that description would probably not be someone I'd want to live with.

But today was different.  It was like I finally felt good about myself and living by myself.  It was nice for a change.  The best part, I thought was that I was actually laughing a lot today, which hadn't happened for a few weeks.  I don't know. I'm hoping it'll last.  I hate feeling down, especially because you've never met anyone as positive as I am sometimes.  So, maybe things will get better.

In other news, Sinead O'Connor was on Oprah today talking about her Bipolar Disorder and I just felt so bad for what she went through.  I really liked her music, and thought she was one of the bravest people for speaking out against the Pope the way she did.  I'm glad she's doing better and feeling healthier.  That's important. 

Haha.  So, last night, went to see Hanson with Cat and Jen, which was fun, even if I somehow got kicked out or not let back in or something.  I don't really remember.  What I do remember was the $60 cab ride home and having to explain to someone's mother why she was so completely wasted.  Oh, and there were cops there too.  Fun times.  Only not. What a buzz kill.  But at least everyone got home safely and poor.

Also, House of Blues Dallas is really nice, but I'm not going back until they get their bartenders to learn the difference between whiskey and bourbon.  They are NOT interchangeable.

National coming out day is October 11th, 2007.  I was going to openly admit that I'm gay on that day, but it's become clear to me that most people know that I'm gay.  Including my family.  But since I haven't admitted it, really, I'm stuck with this sort of weird limbo where some people know that I'm gay and some don't.

So, here it is. I'm gay. I still have to tell my mother, but I think that with my sister's support, I'll be able to.

Here's to being proud to be gay!

Omg, the Wal-Mart by my apartment sells TaB (not the TaB energy though, which is odd).  I am in love with TaB!  It's totally not that great tasting, but it's better than Diet Coke (nothing beats Diet Dr. Pepper though).  Still. TaB!  LOVES.

That is all.  I am going to go back to drinking my delicious TaB and eating my delicious brownies.

Oy. I just realized that I've spent $250 in the past 3 months on a gym membership I don't ever use.  So, Monday I'm going to get off the bus at the gym and actually go in and get a tour and then on Tuesday, I shall start working out. Because for god's sake, I'm wasting so much money on this stupid ass membership that I don't use.  If I don't go this week, then I'll be cancelling the membership post haste. Genug already with this shit.  Plus, if I workout more, I'll probably quit smoking faster because really.  Although it's taken me 3 days to smoke this current pack.

That's all.  I just wanted to put this down somewhere so that somehow I can remind myself of the deal I just made with my self.

So, work has been stressful, mostly because they dumped the entire Accounts Receivable Reconciliation stuff on me and gave me a mess of shit with that.  Like the fact that the lady who did it before me never researched anything and just wrote it off after it aged long enough.  She can be such a b.

In other news, I'm really pretty tired lately and I think it's because I can't sleep at night.  I don't know why.  It's not to do with smoking (pretty much quit that) and it's not because of caffeine because I only drink that until 7pm and then stop.  I don't know why but I can't sleep.  I think it must be financial stress.  I make more than enough money, but I just spend so much.  I really need to cut back on the spending.  Or make use of what I have.  I mean, I pay for a gym membership that I don't use.  OMG...Idea.  Maybe if I work out every night, then I'll eventually wear myself out enough to fall asleep at night and not on the bus in the afternoon.

Haven't been up to much lately.  Last week, went with Jessie to Dallas Pride. It was hot outside, I got a lot of beads and way drunk.  Tons of fun!  And this weekend, I have no plans.  Being a grownup sucks.  That is all.

Oh, wait, it's not.  I'm ready for November to be here because then $187 of my monthly debt goes bye-bye.  And I need to call all my credit cards and inform them that I need payment plans because I just don't have the money.  Also, my electric bill is way too high for my taste, so I've been keeping the air close to 80 and the lights off most of the time.  Sadly, this means that until I can get stable financially, I have to wait to get a pet.

Wow, it's been awhile.  My poor little neglected blog. 

Ok, so Friday night was kind of sucky.  First, I was supposed to go out with Nate at like 8ish...which apparently in asshole time means 11pm.  He gave me some lame explanation that his roommate was in jail and shit.  Boo-hiss. That ain't no reason you can't pick up a fucking phone and cancel.  Then, since we were going to go out to eat, I didn't have anything for dinner.  And then when he finally did pick me up, we went down to TMC, which is where the leather daddies and bears go in the Gayborhood.  Which, fine.  Well, first, on the way to the club there was a group of Christians singing about someshit that nobody down there cared about.  If I had been just a little bit more drunk, I would have started some shit.  But, I wasn't.  So, we go into the bar and I had 3 bourbon and cokes which were actually about 6 considering how much booze was in them compared to how much mixer was in it.

Anyway, then Saturday, I spent watching tv and cleaning my kitchen (exciting, I know).  Today, I went to the store to pick up a few things and then cleaned the bathroom and did some laundry and ironing.  I'm just a regular fucking Martha Stewart, ain't I?  Oh, well.  There's always tomorrow for some fun.  Though I doubt I'll have any since I never seem to (though friday night was fun...sort of).

Now, onto more cleaning.  And ironing.  And smoking.  And drinking.

Ok, so I just fell in love with The Hills on MTV.  I really only watched the first season of Laguna Beach and never looked back, but I think this show is pretty damn awesome.  I love Lauren and Lo.  And now that I know what happened between Heidi and Lauren, I'm so into this show.  Mainly because I can relate just a little bit.  Mostly to Heidi.  Which is weird and not good, but it's true.

Also, did my budget and it's not looking good for me to afford much the next oh, 2 weeks.  But on the other hand, payday is next week and my first raise for the 2Q already went through and I'm due another that hopefully comes in on this one this pay period.  I love getting more money.  Also, it means that I can pay off some of my debt.  And my other bills, the ones that have popped up.

My stalker, who is not so much stalking me as just really annoying has backed off after I told him that I'd rather be friends with him than anything else.  So, I think I'll just be friends with him.  Plus, it doesn't hurt that he has a lot of other friends.  Also, reconnected with Mark over the weekend, though I really don't know what I ever saw in him.  Besides the fact that he has a HUGE house.  And a cushy job.

1. I usually stick with Riesling when it comes to wines.  It's sweet, light and best of all, it's white.  I don't like red wines if I can help it.  But, the other day, Wal-Mart upped the price of the Riesling I normally buy, so on a whim I bought a Pinot Grigio instead. It's a bit more acid-y and also a bit more like juice.  It's good, but it's not great.

2. This weekend was dull dull dull.  Went to the eye-doctor and got new frames/lenses.  Mine are by Kenneth Cole Reaction, a line I used to hate.  See, if I want Kenneth Cole, I want Kenneth Cole, not Kenneth Cole's sad little Reaction line.  Unfortunately, while I happen to like Kenneth Cole, my wallet prefers Reaction.  Just like my wallet prefers DKNY to Donna Karan and A/X to Armani (I will NEVER purchase Emporio Armani.  That's just tacky).

3. I got not one, but two raises at work this week, so yay!  One was my usual quarterly raise and the other was for top performer of the quarter.  It's great news, because I be broke here.  New apartment and all.  I still have bills to pay and shit.  Which reminds me that I need to cancel my Netflix subscription before they charge me for another month.

That's all for this update, as my hands hurt from typing at work all week.  I'm ready for a vacation.  Maybe to Montserrat!

Actually, surprisingly, they are.  Not that their new song sounds anything like anything on the radio now, instead sounding like everything that ever hit the radio between 1997 and six weeks later in 1997. It's bad.  Not a fan...

Anyway, the point is that I'm moved into my new apartment and things have so far been going swimmingly.  Well, except for the drama with the whole getting the internet/phone service up and running.  I now have more bills than I used to.  And I don't really like that.  I'm thinking of shutting down my Netflix account and switching to another TiVo account.  Because you see, my current Tivo is fine, but it's like Vintage TiVo, so it's got the lifetime subscription, which isn't sold anymore. So, I'm keeping that one for sure.  Then, Lee gave me his Series 2 TiVo (seriously, the thing was untouched, the manuals were still in the shrink wrap). I'm going to be using that one.  I just can't decide whether to put it in the bedroom or attach it to the main TV and just use the other one for something else.  Either way.  I just don't know.

Also, I now have a kind of stalker.  It's weird.  He and I have this weird sparky thing between us.  But we've never actually done anything together.  Anyway, he showed up on the bus on Tuesday and wanted to hang out today.  Got out of it because of work obligations, but it was close. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that he comes on SO strong.  On the plus side, he's sort of well off and he's pretty decent some of the time.  Plus, he has a lot of friends, which could become my friends if I play my cards right.  The only problem is that I have to be friends with him and not anything more, which I believe he wants.  Something more than friends, I mean.  I guess.  I don't know.  All I do know is that he really kind of bugs me, but I like that he does or something.  It's kind of complicated.  And he's not even that cute (not that that's ever stopped me from anything before, haha).

So there's my abysmal little update.  I was going to cook myself some dinner, but I think I might just order a pizza or something.  Who can say?